Who Am I?

Visitor: This Consciousness is like a screen, and I am the screen. Maharaj: "Understand what I say without concepts; adding new concepts. Now go to zero concepts. There are many spiritual seekers whose aim is to acquire sufficient merit to reach a certain place, such as Heaven or Vaikuntha. I have had no aims except to find out. I was not aware of my Awareness, and suddenly I became conscious that ' I Am'. Where and how did this Consciousness arise on me? That was my inquiry, going back to that state when the presence of phenomena was not there. That is original knowledge of the original Self. So, I went back, tracing this original Self, and I reached a stage where I wanted to know what my state was before this Consciousness arose. That is the destination which I have reached. Brahman, Isvara, God, all these are names given to the Consciousness when it is conscious of itself. If you have properly understood this knowledge, what will be your position at the moment of so-ca...

  Communion in the Churchyard at Litchfield August 2020 - the first service following lockdown. The services are now by video, and are followed by a coffee meeting by Zoom My letter to the Padre at Litchfield, Mark Christian in November 2020 following remarks he made about God in one of our Zoom coffee talks Mark, your interesting homily at coffee yesterday prompted me to write to you with my thoughts on the subject of God.  When you read them, you will understand why I didn’t raise them in company, and I hope they won’t lead to my ex-communication! I believe that there is God - so let’s get that out of the way - but I also believe that he/she/it is COMPLETELY unknowable.  And with that understanding, goes many of the conundrums that we wrestle with, such as why a ‘loving God’ lets terrible  things happen. There is no such thing as a ’loving God’ - or indeed a 'vengeful God’.It’s a comfortable human-sized construct that  doesn’t accord with reality. Yes, love ex...

I am not easily frightened.. Not because I am brave but because I know that I am dealing with human beings and that I must try as hard as I can to understand everything that anyone ever does. And that was the real import of this morning, not that a disgruntled young Gestapo officer yelled at me but that I felt no indignation, rather a real compassion and I would have liked to ask" Did you have a very unhappy childhood? has your girlfriend let you down? " ......Yes, he looked harassed and driven, sullen and weak. I should have liked to start treating him then and therefor I know that pitiful men like that are dangerous as soon as they are let loose on mankind. But all the blame must be put on the system that uses such people. What needs eradicating is the evil in man, not man himself. Something else about this morning: the perception, very strongly borne in, that despite all the suffering and injustice, I cannot hate others. All the appalling things that happen are no mysterio...